Well the better part of a week has passed, and the only thing to show for it is this second, somewhat better-lit photo of myself as an attempt to remedy the mistakes of my last photoshoot attempt. The lighting in my last series of "portraits" was horrid because I was standing in front of an open window, which, contrary to my hopes, didn't throw me into complete shadow, but rather just made my face dark. Of course I'd done this in the hopes that I could hide my face, but since that approach obviously isn't working I decided to throw all caution to the wind and just take snapshots of my face with better lighting.
The result is the above. Of all my dozen or so photos this was the only one I liked. The lighting is better and clearer, and I managed to get the focus on my face, so that the poster in the background and my clothes/the bookmark on the page are slightly blurred into the background. Since this is a self-portrait I consider it much more successful than my last futile attempt, as the poster in the background reveals something about who I am - that I like bad 80s movies with David Bowie as Goblin Kings, and the bookmark shows Egyptian art and hieroglyphics on papyrus, suggesting I have a fascination with ancient Egypt (which I do). The book is anonymous, but had anyone known better it would be Robert E. Howard's 'Conan' novelettes: yet another insight to my personality.
Contrary to my previous creative entry so far, this time I put a little more thought into the process to creating this "piece", as opposed to merely the finished product, most noteably in the objects seen around me. Since this is a portrait of myself, I wanted to suggest some things about what I like so I poised the camera to catch the poster in the background, and the hieroglyphics boomark. The hair falling into my face also suggests I'm camera-shy, which would be an understatement in reality.
This juxtaposes my creative DNA, which we discussed in tutorial last week. I answered the questions put forward by Twyla Tharp and wasn't surprised to see that for the most part my creative DNA seems to gear me towards creating things that draw attention towards me, through detailed drawings, stunning color jobs, what have you. I had never given it much thought, but one of the reasons this desire to get attention for my (eg:) drawings may have been because of my upbringing as a child. When I was small my parents would always be impressed and encourage my scribbling all over the backs of recycled paper, paper bags from the supermarket, fax paper, what have you, and even my kindergarten teachers noticed my drawings and complimented me. About four years ago I joined DeviantArt where I made myself an online art gallery to showcase my drawings, and I love receiving comments and reading what people have to say, in fact I check my account every day, yet I myself am very shy.
Contrastingly, I've met people who used to love drawing, but the drive stopped when their art teacher told them they would never go anywhere, or when their parents didn't agree with it and discouraged them. This could be an example of negative creative DNA, where the creative drive and pattern isn't built so much as destroyed. It always makes me sad to see these people so beaten that they just refuse to do what it was they probably used to do every day, and used to enjoy.
Photography, however, isn't something hard-wired into my creative DNA, but it's something I'm going to have to explore, as it is also one of the courses I am taking in towards my bachelor's diploma. One of the biggest problems I probably have with it, is that the final outcome - the thing that I care about most, due to my Western upbringing, mentioned in a previous post - isn't as easily determined. Rather, with photography like the portrait above, thought needs to be put towards what the message is that I'm trying to get across. This is the more Eastern mindset, and despite being half-Filipina, it's one I have trouble settling with.
--Sak
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