Creative Entry #2.5: Nothing To Show But Another Photo

Well the better part of a week has passed, and the only thing to show for it is this second, somewhat better-lit photo of myself as an attempt to remedy the mistakes of my last photoshoot attempt. The lighting in my last series of "portraits" was horrid because I was standing in front of an open window, which, contrary to my hopes, didn't throw me into complete shadow, but rather just made my face dark. Of course I'd done this in the hopes that I could hide my face, but since that approach obviously isn't working I decided to throw all caution to the wind and just take snapshots of my face with better lighting.

The result is the above. Of all my dozen or so photos this was the only one I liked. The lighting is better and clearer, and I managed to get the focus on my face, so that the poster in the background and my clothes/the bookmark on the page are slightly blurred into the background. Since this is a self-portrait I consider it much more successful than my last futile attempt, as the poster in the background reveals something about who I am - that I like bad 80s movies with David Bowie as Goblin Kings, and the bookmark shows Egyptian art and hieroglyphics on papyrus, suggesting I have a fascination with ancient Egypt (which I do). The book is anonymous, but had anyone known better it would be Robert E. Howard's 'Conan' novelettes: yet another insight to my personality.

Contrary to my previous creative entry so far, this time I put a little more thought into the process to creating this "piece", as opposed to merely the finished product, most noteably in the objects seen around me. Since this is a portrait of myself, I wanted to suggest some things about what I like so I poised the camera to catch the poster in the background, and the hieroglyphics boomark. The hair falling into my face also suggests I'm camera-shy, which would be an understatement in reality.

This juxtaposes my creative DNA, which we discussed in tutorial last week. I answered the questions put forward by Twyla Tharp and wasn't surprised to see that for the most part my creative DNA seems to gear me towards creating things that draw attention towards me, through detailed drawings, stunning color jobs, what have you. I had never given it much thought, but one of the reasons this desire to get attention for my (eg:) drawings may have been because of my upbringing as a child. When I was small my parents would always be impressed and encourage my scribbling all over the backs of recycled paper, paper bags from the supermarket, fax paper, what have you, and even my kindergarten teachers noticed my drawings and complimented me. About four years ago I joined DeviantArt where I made myself an online art gallery to showcase my drawings, and I love receiving comments and reading what people have to say, in fact I check my account every day, yet I myself am very shy.

Contrastingly, I've met people who used to love drawing, but the drive stopped when their art teacher told them they would never go anywhere, or when their parents didn't agree with it and discouraged them. This could be an example of negative creative DNA, where the creative drive and pattern isn't built so much as destroyed. It always makes me sad to see these people so beaten that they just refuse to do what it was they probably used to do every day, and used to enjoy.

Photography, however, isn't something hard-wired into my creative DNA, but it's something I'm going to have to explore, as it is also one of the courses I am taking in towards my bachelor's diploma. One of the biggest problems I probably have with it, is that the final outcome - the thing that I care about most, due to my Western upbringing, mentioned in a previous post - isn't as easily determined. Rather, with photography like the portrait above, thought needs to be put towards what the message is that I'm trying to get across. This is the more Eastern mindset, and despite being half-Filipina, it's one I have trouble settling with.

--Sak

Creative Entry #2: Something I Rarely Do

Today I tried something I rarely do, mostly because I avoid having to do aything of this sort if possible, and that would be a self portrait using photography.

I don't much consider myself attractive or photogenic, and while I'll admit this was an assigment for my photography class (otherwise I'd never have done it) I still consider it a creative process. I started of with no idea what to do, then decided that because of my general shyness in front of cameras I'd try focusing on the light streaming from my dorm room window, which would put me in shadow and spare the viewer from having to stare at my face. I then tinkered around with posing, sitting on the sill, looking out, and it all looked so static ... until I had an accident with the machine-gun mode and this series of photos ensued.

If I could change it I'd go back and not make such a ridiculous face, but I've tried and tried again to get the lighting but it's either too dark or too bright. Well ... it's a documentation of my failures, at least.

--Sak

'The Creative Habit' by Twyla Tharp

While reading the work set for my upcoming tutorial (a little late, perhaps, but oops! At least it's still fresh in my mind) I came across the thirty-three questions asked by Tharp in her book 'The Creative Habit' that supposedly help build "Your Creative Autobiography". Well, given this is a Fine Arts course on creativity, and it is the set reading for this week, I thought heck, why not give it a spin?

(The following answers were originally scrawled all over sheets of paper as the answers occurred to me, with little thought or follow-up, as per Tharp's request.)

My Creative Autobiography:

1. What is the first creative moment you remember? Drawing dragons in red marker on every page of my (and my friends') art pads in kintergarten, despite the teacher's wishes not too (we were each supposed to work in our own notepads).

2. Was anyone there to witness or appreciate it? My kindergarten friends, the teachers there. They later told my parents they "saw potential" (praise and attention has been there from the start).

3. What is the best idea you've ever had? 'Only In A Harem' http://canadian-rainwater.deviantart.com/art/Only-In-A-Harem-52633081 - my own comic with an original cast and story that actually went anywhere (50 hand-drawn pages, a hand-drawn and colored front and back page, drawn during my summer break, self-published, and sold in school for fundraising).

4. Wht made it great in your mind? That I finished something that was entirely mine (the end product is important to me).

5. What is the dumbest idea? My cast of RATS characters. http://canadian-rainwater.deviantart.com/art/RAT-Infestation-68142025

6. What made it stupid? That I not only tried copying the idea from another artist on DeviantArt, Jenadelle, of who's style and characters I absolutely loved at the time (and who, admittedly, influenced my fashion sense towards neo-gothic baggy pants and neon additives and what have you), but that I then warped the characters to suit the interests of a "friend" I had at the time, just to make her happy.

7. Can you connect the dots that led you to this idea? Jenadelle -> Apoptygma Berzerk -> I'm a wannabe -> Nic -> the RATS.

8. What is your creative ambition? To go somewhere with my art.

9. What are the obstacles to this ambition? I'll be competing with other good/talented artists for jobs, or, in the case of personal projects such as publishing my own comics, I'll be competing with major names like DC and Marvel to have my own published and noticed.

10. What are the vital steps to achieving this ambition? Never stop drawing (something I'm more than happy to comply with) and to finish my studies (so I can do what I want for a living, and not get stuck with a second-rate job I hate, with horrid hours, and minimum wage).

11. How do you begin your day? Waking up easrly, sometimes by alarm if I have to, to steal time online on Aion.

12. What are your habits? What patterns do you repeat? Wake up, shower/dress, brush teeth, run for breakfast, wolf down breakfast, run back to dorm to roleplay/play Aion for a few hours, head to class.

13. Describe your first successful creative act. A picture I drew (in 1st grade?) of my family and I based on our trip to hot springs while living in Japan; it got noticed by the teachers and even got stolen. I can't rightly remember if I ever got it back ... I never thought it was that great.

14. Describe your second successful creative act. 'Only In A Harem'. 'Nuff said.

15. Compare them. 1st = stand-alone picture that got "successful" competely by accident. 2nd = first (and only) successfuly completed and self-printed comic that also sold.

16. What are your attitudes towards:
Money: Necessary for a good life. I just need enough to get by with my lifestyle.
Power: Nah.
Praise: Comment whore on DeviantArt!
Rivals: Can get competetive/easily riled up if provoked.
Work: Work first, fun second, even if said work bores me to tears!
Play: ONLINE!! Fun/free time is always good!

17. Which artists do you admire most? Frank Frazetta, Brian Froud, Voltaire (NYC), Brian Jacques.

18. Why are they your role models? Frank Frazetta & Brain Froud are two known artists whose styles I absolutely love. Voltaire I admire (and will admit to being slightly envious of) due to his skill in almost every "artistic" field: he makes music, stop-motion animations, draws a comic, and is writing a novel now!! Brian Jacques is the author of the 'Redwall' series, and my favorite series of novels to date. I love his ideas and storytelling techniques.

19. What do you and your role models have in common? Frazetta & Froud = we're all artists, Voltaire = music taste ... I guess ... given I listen to his stuff a lot ... Jacques = fantasy stories, warrior mice, and Medieval ages!

20. Does anyone in your life regularly inspire you? My sister, who is like Voltaire, and can do every damn thing.

21. Who is your muse? Online games/music.

22. Define muse: Something that inspires me to draw.

23. When confronted with superior intelligence or talent, how do you respond? I admire them and usually seek to learn what I can from them.

24. When faced with stupidity, hostility, intransigence, laziness, or indifference in others, how do you respond? I usually ignore annoyances at first, or try to put up with them to the best of my abilites, just to be nice, but I can just as easily get hostile and ahead of myself.

25. When faced with impending success or the threat of failure, how do you respond? Success = happy, failure = potential aggression, otherwise wonder where it went wrong and possibly learn from my mistakes.

26. When you work, do you love the process or the result? Of course drawing is always fun for me, or should be, but it's being able to sit back and stare contentedly at something I've created - the result - that I aim for.

27. At what moments do you feel your reach exceeds your grasp? Usually at the coloring stage! No really, all jokes aside, usually what comes out of the pen never looks like what I have in my head, and I'm constantly aiming to try difficult angles of foreshortening or expressions I can't quite nail.

28. What is your ideal creative activity? Drawing/sketching/cartooning.

29. What is your greatest fear? Mathematics and all things associated with it!!!

30. What is the likelihood of either of the answers to the previous two questions happening? Drawing = very likely, math = not at all, if I cna help it.

31. Which of your answers would you most like to change? The ... last? To not have to do it at all, and make it a not-so integral part of all things in this universe ...

32. What is your idea of mastery? In art I can't imagine "mastery at all, even from "masters" like Leonardo DaVinci or Michelangelo. We're always learning; I'm always trying to push myself just that little bit father.

33. What is your greatest dream? To make a name for myself in the art industry one day.

Creative Reflection #1: On Roleplay

I just ran back to my dorm in the rain and my fingers are frozen stiff, so pardon any potential typos and spelling slip-ups - I can't feel my toes!

This creative reflection is going to be about my last creative entry about my roleplay on the MMORPG Aion, and I've actually been looking forward to writing about it. Up until my first "tutorial" class it had never even occurred to me that it might be creative, until I was talking about it and the proverbial lightbulb lit up in my head. We were drawing simple "maps" about areas in our lives such as friendship, hobbies, and family, and what are certain things we do in each of these fields that we consider creative. Me being the avid MMOer that I am (I wouldn't say "gamer" per se, because I don't tend to play first person shooters, go to arcades, or play PSPs/XBoxes/what have you) I put down "roleplaying on Aion" as a hobby, and it occurred to me for the first time that it was actually something creative, contrary to most peoples' beliefs!

All throughout my childhood "playing pretend" was something I did every day and it came to me as naturally as, if not more naturally, than being myself. (I say "being myself" loosely, because can you really say who you are? I know I can't, and identity is something that I'm still not sure I've got a grasp on, as my interests, fashion, music taste, etc. are constantly changing). At school I'd be the dragon and would maul my friends (with sometimes fatal injuries, like clawing hair and biting each other), and at home I would pretend to be animals with my sister. My sister and I would even draw pictures together while simultaneously making up stories to go with our illustrations as we went along. This usually resulted in piles upon piles of half-finished drawings discarded haphazardly all over the table by the end of the day, each depicting different stages of our stories; our two different interpretations of the events. When we grew out of that I took to MMORPGs, and my love of playing pretend never left me.

Something like imagining stories and drawing pictures of them is obviously creative, and so is pretending to me your toys while walking around or playing with friends. Likewise, so is roleplaying: it forces you to take on the role of someone other than yourself, and to take on their role convincingly. Not only that, however, but you have to create the character in the first place, which again demonstrates creativity, as you more-or-less build your avatar from scratch. Heck, there is so much creativity involved in roleplaying my half-frozen fingers are having trouble catching up with my brain! But where to begin ...

Character creation. The starting point, obviously, is to make the character you have to play. My first MMORPG was Ryzom http://www.ryzom.com/ and when I joined I'd had no prior experience roleplaying in an MMO. It's far more sporadic than, say, roleplaying on forums, where you have time to think and write long, arduous paragraphs for the other person to respond to. In-game you're competing against the clock; real-time counts! Your responses have to be as instantaneous as dialogue would be were you actually speaking with the person, or at least as quickly and fluidly as your typing speed allows. Thankfully years of dabbling in story-writing in my spare time (and essays for school ... *sigh*) have made me fairly quick at typing, and sometimes I get ahead of myself and may type whole mouthfuls for my character because of it! But I digress.

When I joined Ryzom I began by fidding around with different character faces, tattoos, the races ... and as I was playing around with the creation options potential character ideas began formulating. "With this war paint she could be a wild Homin who spent her whole life in the desert alone" or "With this body build he's clearly spent all his life in the city" and so on and so forth. In the end I made a female Tryker called Taniqa with began with no character background, and decided to see how she evolved. I had originally intended to play her as a young woman, but even though Trykers are supposed to be short in height by nature I couldn't stop picturing her as a little girl, and so eventually she became my mischievious little brat of a character, with a tendency to steal the socks of her superiors in her guild and run away through the wilderness into dangerous areas from whence the others had to fetch her.

That was my first MMORPG. On Aion, now my fourth, I had a very clear idea of what I wanted for my character. Admittedly I did come up with his concept while tinkering with customisation options once again, but no sooner did I see the face than I had it all in my head. My character, Jaris, was inspired heavily by the gothic singer, writer, and stop-motion animator Mr. Aurelio Voltaire (see above image). This begs the question as to whether it is really "creative" if I base my character off another person, and I think it is. Even creating the character to look similar requires some measure of creativity, as Jaris was inspired by Voltaire, not completely copied from him. For instance, Jaris is a tattoo on the left side of his face, which Voltaire doesn't, but as my character I have creative license to do what I want. Additionally, his character is by no means that of Voltaire's; to pull of his personality perfectly I'd have to leave the realm of creativiy and delve into the creepy world of "stalker", which I'd rather refrain from doing. For instance, Voltaire is married and has a son, whereas Jaris is a shameless flirt and wouldn't want a child of his own, as it would tie him down with one woman. It's this image I have to maintain when I log into the game and step into his shoes ... or, well, clawed feet, as the case would be.

And the creativity doesn't stop there. Roleplaying in Aion constantly inspires me to draw Jaris, other people's characters or in-game creatures, or even events that happen in-game. In fact it's as a result of my roleplaying online that my webcomic "OOC - A Gaming Webcomic" (OOC meaning Out Of Character, for those non-roleplayers among us) came to fruition. It can be found here: http://canadian-rainwater.deviantart.com/gallery/?6098039#OOC-A-Gaming-Webcomic Of course, since I am juggling time between roleplaying, drawing, and not failing university, it's updated infrequently whenever time and inspiration allows. But more often than not inspiration will strike while my character is chatting amiably with someone else, and I find myself picking up that pen again and scribbling all over some paper. Even indirectly, gaming/roleplaying has creative results.

In tutorial it was also mentioned that the Western and Asian ideas of creativity vary, and while I have to agree, it only got me thinking all the more about how ironically appropriate Aion is as an example of when two cultures mix to produce something else. Aion - The Tower of Eternity is, in fact, an Asian game http://www.aiononline.com/. It was developed and released a year earlier in Korea before NCSoft opened it to the Western and European public. The only major difference between the Asian and Western versions of the game are the voice overs of the characters, for which I am grateful - Jaris is not supposed to sound like Bruce Lee. Besides that the game remains the same: the graphics style and armor is noteably Asian, with large, overly intricate pauldrons and sets of armor bristling with spikes, catpeople in distinctive Samurai garb, and swords as tall as your characters blazing with neon lights (I'd illustrate this point with screenshots but I don't know how to format them in this blog). Additionally, the fighting animations, while well done, are overexaggerated and remind me distinctly of drawn-out battle scenes in the odd anime I may have had the misfortune of watching in the past. Of course there is a vast majority of the Western culture that endorses Asian art, particularly anime and manga, so Aion has a significantly large player base in these other countries.

I am not sure if roleplay is as abundant on the Asian servers as on the Western and European ones, although I'm inclined to assume it isn't, and this would demonstrate a clash of cultural creativity. When released to the Western public the company, NCSoft, recognized roleplayers as an "important part of the community", but made no effort to provide an official roleplay server. Instead a vote was held for unofficial roleplay servers for both the US and EU servers. This may be a result of the heavy empahsis placed on player-versus-player gameplay in Aion, or PVP, which requires a large player base for the two factions to war with each other. Sadly, roleplayers are still a minority of the gaming population, and thus a roleplay server would nullify this important aspect of the game.

I think I'm getting a brainfreeze just sitting here in my room ...

While Eastern creativity places emphasis on the journey to get to the product (eg: the long, arduous grind from level 1 to level 50 in Aion) the Western community prefers the end product (eg: reaching the maximum level and reaping the rewards, such as nice looking armor and high-end raid dungeons), and herein lies another conflict in the MMO. Because it was originally an Asian game, Aion is structured like an Asian grinder, where a lot of experience is needed to get from one level to the next, and quests to help structure your grind are few and far between. I've met may people in-game who have eventually left Aion due to the almost unbearable grind, which is unfortunate. There are a few dungeon instances where you can create groups to run through in the hopes of getting unique armor and weapon drops, but most of these are end-game instances (within the 40-50 level range, 50 being the max level at the moment). I am all the more thankful for my constant roleplay input as a result, or I would probably leave too. While I can enjoy the game for the new areas to explore and Aion's stunning graphics, an MMORPG is simply a mindless grind without the creative exchange roleplay offers.

Thus ends my first creative reflection for now, as I think I've covered everything I meant to say. If not ... well, the editing option exists for a reason. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to burn my hands on the radiator to wake them up!

--Sak

Jaris's Letter of Recommendation

Name: Jaris
Age at Ascension: 32
Race: Asmodian
Class: Chanter
Speciality: Alchemist

Born into an esteemed family boasting the proud name of Vanahal, Jaris's past pre-Ascension was easily tracked, due to the noble's disposition to reside within the walls of Pandaemonium. His family had the money and means to give him a full education and the library, as well as the regal mansions gracing the Vanahal district where he spent the majority of his early life, remain his most frequent haunts to this day.

As a child Jaris was the eldest of his three siblings, a younger brother and his sister, the youngest. All three grew up never wanting and received the highest schooling, leaving him well versed in Atreia's history, writing, and the arts. When he was older he began showing interest in the noble craft of alchemy, and his parents apprenticed him to the renowned Honir where he received the best tutelage. However, despite even his teacher's finest training, Jaris's knowledge remained limited by his reliance on merchants and shugo traders for herbs and medicines for his potions. Never once trained in any area of combat, it was rare for him to venture far beyond Pandaemonium's walls, and only on a few very rare occasions was he spotted in Altgard.

When not poring over his books and tomes, or experimenting with different alchemical ingredients under his tutor's watchful eyes, Jaris was usually attending balls and banquets with other Vanahal, or leaving the estates of young, beautiful noble daughters afterwards. Rumors began stirring about his nightly behavior, whispered predominantly between the ladies of the Vanahal court. By his mid-twenties fathers of rich, noble daughters were wary of him, but his confident, suave temperament was disarming, and nothing arose of his rumored actions until a few years later.

At thirty-two years Jaris had build himself a solid reputation as a capable alchemist and supported the war efforts mixing healing elixirs for Asmodian Daevas. Supportive, decisive, and a little proud, it was naturally assumed he would be the successor of his family's estate in the event of his parents' death. However, one night in the bed of a wild young noblesse threw his world upside down. True to his reputation, Jaris had her writhing in the throes of passion, but she vocalized to loudly and alerted her father, whom we can only presume arrived home unexpectedly after a day out. In a desperate attempt to save the face of his family and avoid the repercussions of being discovered and identified, the panicked noble had no other option than to spring from the noblesse's open window. The drop from her balcony to the streets of the noble district would have been fatal, or at the very least broken most of the bones in his body, but the noble never hit the ground. Instead he found himself beating the air with a pair of large, raven wings.

Unlike some Vanahal families with Daevas in their bloodlines, Jaris's family was conventional, and upon discovering his Ascension they regarded him as a tool of Aion. While they were proud one of their own would be defending Asmodae from the scourge of the Elyos, Jaris didn't share their view and regarded his Ascension as the moment the life he enjoyed was destroyed. His family's titles were stripped from him, and instead his younger brother inherited his family's wealth. Despite his wishes against it, his family reported his Ascension to draft him into a Legion, and as a result Jaris parted on bad terms.

He has not taken kindly to his Ascension, and it is with grudging remorse that he joins your ranks, Brigade General Bix. Bitter, proud, and stubborn, he is very inexperienced in warfare and has never weilded a weapon before, but I trust this is an obstacle you can remedy. Heavy swords and shields may be beyond his capability to weild, as he does not have the build of a seasoned fighter. However, his knowledge of potions and healing herbs may aid you and your growing Legion, and we tast you with aiding his development into a capable priest.

Signed,
Vidar, Governor of Pandaemonium

Creative Entry #1: Stay Young

I think I'm starting to get the hang of this, or at least I think I have a vague idea of what's expected of me. Each week for ten weeks I'm supposed to do something I consider creative, and then record it here and talk about it. Right; I can do that.

Those of you who know me will be more than familiar with my tendency to be found drawing almost all the time, so it's fairly easy to assume I'd write my first creative entry about art, or maybe even post of one my sketches. However, inspiration struck me during tutorial today, and I decided to write instead about what I do when not drawing: playing online games.

This may not sound very creative in itself. After all, all you have to do to play a Massively Multiplayer Online Roleplay Game (or MMORPG) is sit down, log in, create a character, and then run around killing things to get experience and go up in levels. I've played a good slew of MMORPGs already: Ryzom (http://www.ryzom.com/), Everquest II (http://www.everquest2.com/), Age of Conan (http://www.ageofconan.com/) and, currently, Aion (European servers) (http://www.aiononline.com)and/ while each follows the linear requirements of an MMO (kill things, earn levels) there is usually another very important factor present that makes or breaks my interest in the game.

The roleplay community. This, to me, is fundamental in whether or not I'll be choosing or staying long with any particular MMORPG. What this entails is not only creating a character to run around this 3D world with, but giving them a personality, or a background to play off of. Prior to playing MMOs I was part of websites like Neopets (http://www.neopets.com/), childish websites where I'd make a cute little animal, and then spend days slaving over drawings of them, dressing them up, making them tangible, and then laboring over a website where I'd post their stories up. I'd then get letters from others on the website who also had original characters like this, and we'd roleplay with each other back and forth through letters. One person would write a paragraph, then I'd add another, and so on and so forth until our little adventure was over. In fact long after I left Neopets I was so proud of what I'd achieved with my pets I made a small little site to archive their "petpages", where their stories had been posted, and the odd comic or continued story I'd gotten published in the Neopian Times, the official Neopets online newspaper. These can be found here: www.freewebs.com/scarab-works/x-marks-the-spot.htm

But I digress; the purpose of this blog was to talk about the roleplay I partake in now. Currently I play the MMORPG Aion on the European servers, and just about every day, whenever I can sneak in a few hours, I log on to my account and play Jaris, my original character (see the screenshot above). That's right, I roleplay a male character, which takes a little bit more creativity than if I were to roleplay a female, being female myself, if I may be so bold as to stake that claim. Not only that, but my boyfriend and I, whome I roleplay with, started our own guild (or Legion, as it's called in Aion) with the help of a few friends to bring together other roleplayers like us, and even made a forum accessable here: http://tof.foroomy.com/ (graphics courtesy of yours truly). This was yet another creative activity that took quite a few weeks to put together, getting the forum threads organized, a banner up, and even customized avatars for the members in it, most of which I drew (more creativity). Later on I even wrote a short character background in the form of a letter of recommendation, to fit with the roleplay of our Legion being ... well, a military regiment, as per the lore in Aion. (I may upload this story here later, as it is a creative process, albeit a little out of date, but is otherwise inaccessable unless you have an account on our forum).

So yes, this is my creative entry for the 12th of January, although it is something I partake in most regularly: Roleplay, on the MMORPG Aion.

--Sak

Took Me Long Enough

I used to keep a diary.

One of those "secret" ones you get as a young girl because you think all fairy princesses in fantasy stories have them, and that by scribbling in it (in horrid handwriting) about the most dull things you will somehow become legible for dragon-rides or prince love stories ... but I digress. Needless to say it's been a while since I last wrote in mine - heck, I even forgot to bring it with me to university; it's still sitting in its drawer back in Singapore - and so it is with some surprise that I find myself here, making a blog, which is essentially a diary.

At least typing is much more comfortable and quicker than writing.

So here I am with a blog. This was started as per requirement of one of my university courses, so I'm not sure what sort of things I'll be posting here soon. Maybe I'll even become so fond of spewing my brainfarts onto the internet it'll become my next most visited website, besides DeviantArt ... although I doubt it. Too busy wasting my life on MMOs to afford wasting it on the internet, too.

--Sak